Now, would everybody PLEASE STOP BREATHING!

It was a loooong weekend… It was a busy weekend, it was actually a terrific weekend, but now it is Monday, and I feel like I’ve been hit by a freight truck.

It all began with having the bright idea that I would make both Aaron and Sam’s birthday cakes. Yes, cakes, 2 of them. Then I get to being brilliant and decide that they will both have PIRATE CAKES. Uh, I guess I should let you know that these are 2 grown men I’m talking about, but what caters more to the inner child than birthday cake right? So I brainstorm and make some interesting messes in my kitchen, and I’ll post the rest of the gory details at the grill.

By 6pm on Saturday there was enough butter-cream icing spread all over my kitchen to contain another Chernobyl, and I walked the hell away! We were due to arrive at the party before 6 to help Emma get set up, but being as we were already late, I dropped off the cakes and tore over to the beer store. The highlight of my evening was having all of my favorite menfolk in attendance! There was of course Sam and AJ, also Aaron- it was after all his party too, but Diggid and Mike were there. Full roster! Too bad we weren’t at my house, I might have got my towel rods put up for me! bwaa haaa haaaaaa. I heart heart heart polygamy 🙂

Many, many honey brown lagers later… I poured myself out of the passenger seat in my own garage, teetered around the block with Lucy- who had got bored and ate half of my reusable shopping bags (it’s the only thing she could reach)- and tromped up to bed.

Ahhh, blissful, inebriated, comaaaa. No, maybe not so much… YELLOW. I roll out of bed and look out the window. YELLOW. I wander down the stairs and put on the kettle- there’s a vibration in the floor, or is that post drinking shakes? I decide to go out front to smoke, as there seems to be no stairs outside my back door. YELLOW. I sit down on my front porch, and hear a big crash, loud enough to be heard over the roaring of a very large engine… OH RIGHT! There’s a bloody EXCAVATOR IN MY BACK YARD! I dash out to the back and there’s Sam and the neighbor guy doing the very manly dance of “shovel leaning and important gesturing”, and my whole backyard is nice and level! oooooh. I are sooo pleased!

Ok, now I’m awake! OMG look at my kitchen :S
I cleaned it all up just in time for David to arrive and start Bombing. Melting chocolate,beating egg whites, spraying whipping cream out of the mixer and all over the counters… It was a BEAUTIFUL and very tasty mess.

Emma made an appearance, as well as Aaron, the girls, and Grandpa Hawk (Aaron’s daddy), and it took the majority of the afternoon to make enough room in my kitchen to start supper. Mmm, stir-fry. Somehow, I had forgotten what a bloody mess stir-fry makes.

I suppose some of you might be wondering what the hell the point is to this whole story… well, there ISN’T one! HA!

Eventually, everyone gets fed, I abandon the mess, run out with Emma for an Extra Large Double Double (oh, yes, our very favorite late nite treat- and we both wonder why we can’t sleep!), and return home to an excruciatingly warm house. I get all snuggled down in the spare room with the window cranked open as far as it will go, and Sam starts snoring so loud, I had to get up and shut his door. That was muted just nicely when AJ turned over on his back and started competing/harmonizing with his father from across the hall. Arrgh. I get up, shut AJ’s door, and my door, and sure as hell,  the dog decides she’s too hot and has ants in her pants- she starts huffing and panting and snorting and thrashing around in her kennel… So the dog goes downstairs, I stagger back up to bed and do the best impression of a lousy nights sleep I’ve done in awhile.

Now it is Monday, and I get to do it all over again!
(says the girl who might start sleeping in the garage).

About staggeringduck

Look, I'm just awesome ok?
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