Feel like crap?

ah, what you need is THE MEDICATION!

The Medication can make you more like the someone everyone expects you to be! Are you tired, worried, stressed, sore and/or lethargic? Do you sometimes have thoughts of using pointy objects to harm yourself or those around you? The Medication may just be the medicine for you!

Studies show that people who take The Medication in conjunction with other non-specified-self administered treatments, may start to feel and behave differently, this is a sign that The Medication is working! People close to you may notice that you are “Not yourself” or “Acting strange”, and is also a sign that you’re underlying “you-ness” is being suppressed, and that  The Medication is doing it’s job.

Some moderate to severe side effects have been reported, including but not limited to; headache, dry mouth, loss of appetite, significant changes in weight, monobrow, insomnia, excessive sweating, changes in libido, tinnitus( ringing in ears), rash, itching, nausea, digestive upset, forgetfulness, loss of coordination, inability to concentrate, horrible irrational fear that you’re about to die, unusual dreams, frequent urge to take on new projects/responsibility, lapse in judgement, brittle nails, hair loss, excess hair in unusual places, tingling and numbness in the extremities, and a general sense of apathy to the crises you’re in at the moment.

The Medication may interact adversely with other drugs such as: topical treatments for fungus and eczema, you may wish to forgo treatment for those conditions in favor of the greater benefit of  The Medication.  The Medication has been known to cause moderate swelling of the brain, difficulty breathing, heart arrhythmia, internal bleeding, and splenic rupture. Talk to your doctor if you think you may be experiencing any of these symptoms; in most cases, the benefits of The Medication will far outweigh the bleeding to death you are experiencing.

Take The Medication as directed. Overdose of The Medication can cause vomiting, diarreah, bleeding from the eyes and ears, and may cause permanent blindness, deafness, paralysis or hospitalization or even death. Do not stop taking The Medication without advice from your doctor. Severe Discontinuation Syndrome has been know to cause sudden death in some patients. Occasionally, other drugs are used to slowly wean patients off of The Medication, however, use these with caution as they may become habit forming and will require The Medication to counter those effects.

Talk to your doctor today to see if The Medication is right for you! Your doctor will be compensated monetarily for prescribing The Medication. This incentive ensures that the people who need The Medication the most will recieve treatment.

Remember, why be yourself when The Medication can make you more like the person everyone expects you to be!

YAY! THE MEDICATION!

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About staggeringduck

Look, I'm just awesome ok?
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