If you know me, you also know that I have been blessed with a Very Reasonable Child, and a Hardworking Husband. Lets focus on those as their strong sides. Yes….focus….
I’m 2 days into my yearly revamp of the “Boss of You” household regime and already, I can sense dissent and the decay of morale… the natives are restless….
The last year has been pretty rough on my little family. Husband suffered a very frightening work injury and he is (WE are) still recovering from the incident- emotionally, mentally… we have not been a unit. We NEED TO BE a UNIT!
SO, I sat down and created yet another visual aid- “MOM’S Dictatorship” -that outlined the major areas of day to day household responsibilities and assigned them according to “how much of your own crap I think you should deal with”, “how much of this crap I’m way tired of doing all on my own”, “how much crap I refuse to deal with at all”. Ok, I didn’t actually use those categories, the Wee Mr Reasonable and the Big Mr Hardworking generally don’t think I’m as funny as I do, so I had to take it easy on the ha-ha.
And I explained to them, for the zillionth time, that WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE A TEAM! If I have to do this all on my own, and you guys have to treat me like crap, then I AM NOT GOING TO DO ANY OF THIS! And then you will complain that I do nothing, and you will retaliate by doing less than nothing (basically like primates and just start flinging poo to emphasize what a horrible state *I* let the house get to), and then we’re back to square one, and I start applying for camp jobs and leave you guys to wallow in your poo and lament how terrible I am for abandoning you.
How about, just maybe, in exchange for the low low price of a little RESPECT, APPRECIATION, and some personal accountability on your parts, I will continue to do the bulk of the work, cheerfully, un-grudgingly, with love in my heart- while YOU GUYS pick up the slack, wipe your own asses, commit to one load of laundry each a week, take your dishes to the sink, and realize that I am never, ever EVER going to shovel snow. I would rather watch my granny slip and break something on the back step than get out there and shovel snow. I could do ALL OF THE THINGS, but we can’t afford cocaine.
Really, whether they understand it or not, I am trying to teach them how to treat me. I have taught them over the years, that if they ignore my silly little “visual aids” and tune out my lectures, and translate it all to “blah blah blah”, and dish enough attitude, I will get mad, and then I will do it myself anyway. Nope. Not anymore. Sorry guys. This is not sustainable.
Not only am I weary of the BS in a major way, I am also in the process of my own life transition. The main focus is the beginning of my new career. I’ve taken the courses, busted my butt to fit the studying in with my job and the endless heaps of laundry and emotional tension, and very very soon, I will be working some sort of shift that has me away from the house for 16 hours a day, or possibly just days at a time. I have been primarily the most flexible adult, with the lowest income for 9 years now. Soon that won’t be the case, and the boys are going to have to learn to manage on their own to some degree. The second, and probably the most important (to me) part of this transition, is, simply put “I’m not taking crap from ANYONE”. No more doormatting.
Eventually, they will have to realize that the NEW BOSS really requires compliance. That the “blah blah blah” isn’t going to stop this time, and that if they want to keep all of those little perks like DINNER and CLEAN UNDERWEAR, they’re going to have to dance to the tune.
Hey boys, don’t worry about the nagging , worry when it gets real quiet….