This is not Happening

One of the added not-so-bonus side effects to all this exercise is it’s screwing with my hormones. My year long perfect cycle streak has ended, and I feel like CRAP. Of course, I say something to my husband- just a passing remark and I forget what it sounds like to a man. “So, I’m like 5 days late now” and he drops his phone and looks at me like I just pulled a dead clown out of the fridge. Thing is, he’s been “fixed” for almost 6 years now, so for just a split second, he is instinctively panicked and thinks the worst. And for just a split second, I want to punch him in the face.

“Ok! Everybody needs to just CALM THE FUCK DOWN!”

But I think about that sort of thing pretty much every day. Especially when ALL MY HORMONES ARE SCREWED UP! (RAAWRRR)

Anyway. I spent most of yesterday in a fog. I had about 2 good hours where I wasn’t all out of sorts- the rest of the day I spent feeling like crap.

My day started out normally enough- until I realized it hadn’t. My alarm went off and I shut it off and got up. Stumbled downstairs and wondered why the coffee hadn’t turned itself on- I must have forgot to hit the auto button before bed- so I turned it on, went to the bathroom, had a smoke, fired up the computer, and started working on a really weird short story Idea I woke up with. Eventually, I’m standing in the kitchen pouring my 3rd cup of coffee when something really strange happened. My alarm went off. I stood there for a second trying to understand what was going on, and I looked at the clock on the microwave which read 5:45, which is when my alarm is set to go off. I looked at the timer on the coffee pot- it had been on for just over an hour. So I fumbled for my phone and shut it up, and stood there in the middle of the kitchen wondering what the bloody hell just happened. I must have dreamed that my alarm was going off, and since I’ve done such a bang-up job programming myself to hit the floor before I hit the button, I didn’t think twice. I just got out of bed and started my morning.

Basically, I was out of phase with reality and time by a little over an hour yesterday and it really really sucked.

I went for brunch with my friend- and that was super exciting because we never get to see each other, and I’m even exciteder because she wants to start working out with me! It’s pretty cool to be thought of as someone who can help with fitness. So that part of the day went great- but by the time I got to the gym, all of my inspiration had fizzled, and 1/2 hour on the elliptical and I felt positively and completely awful. I made it home and as far as the couch and spent the next 3 hours drifting in and out of sleep and when the kid came home, I could barely wake up enough to talk to him.  I finally pried myself off the sofa and made him a snack. All I could think about was what a fail the day felt like. I was looking forward to getting some housework done and some baking for Sr and Jr, and making some phone calls- generally keeping up with the level of productiveness I’ve maintained over the last month. But I was out of phase with the day, and there was no getting it back on track. I finally gave up.

The boys went out to a hockey game, I ordered Pizza Hut pan-crust pepperoni and extra cheese for myself and watched 7 episodes of My Name is Earl on Netflix. I went to bed finally and sleep was not hard to find- my last waking thoughts were wondering whether the whole day even happened at all. I think I would have been ok with that.




About staggeringduck

Look, I'm just awesome ok?
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