As I have come to understand people in general- there are more-or-less 3 kinds. There are the Weirdos, the Good Crazies, and the Bad Crazies. I have the very least in common with the Weirdos- these are people I just don’t get… Yes, I am Weird, but not that kind of weird… Those are the people that don’t think I’m funny, and do “Normal” stuff (whatever that is) and generally, live a life entirely out of sync with me and the assorted Crazies. (I think the Weirdos are probably just Closet Crazies, waiting for their chance to break out of their mundane rut(s) and really let it all go).
The Good Crazies, like me, are the funny, wacky think-outside-the-box types with a skewed outlook on life. We are the people who make life fun and interesting. We are the best friends to have, and even if you’re a run of the mill Weirdo, we will take you into our fold and make your life better. Because there’s something ridiculously entertaining to us to watch our Crazy rub off on someone. It’s contagious. It spreads fast. And it’s the Best Defense against dying young and with regrets. Its also the best protection against our common enemy- the Bad Crazies.
Bad Crazies come in all shapes and sizes. They come as your Nasty Passive Aggressive Neighbor who lets their dog poop on your lawn and doesn’t clean it up. They come as the Frienemies that talk one way to you and another about you. They come as serial arsonists, grifters, carnies, axe murderers, and all the other horrible ways you can think of when you hear the news. Bad Crazies are everywhere, and the rest of us have a duty to stick together, have each-other’s back(s), and keep the light on against the dark (against the Pyromaniacal Transient Bearded Lady with a Poopy Dog and an Axe that’s squatting in the house next door).
But what I’m struggling with the most these days are the generic Bad Crazies. The Frienemies. The ones who live their lives by the seat of their pants and get their kicks causing drama and assorted mayhem in other people’s lives. The ones that can’t live without having their noses in someone else’s situation, and rejoice when they can drag one of Us down to their level. It’s happening right now. I want to say such nasty things. I want to retaliate in kind- I’m on the brink of the Dark Side and it’s not cookies I smell, it’s brimstone.
So… I look for the funny in it. I look really hard. And I come up with a way to blow off some steam that isn’t hurting anyone else, and that makes Good Crazy look like fun.
“How To Tell Someone they are Insane”
1. Make sure you are right, and not in fact projecting your own nuttiness on the situation. This is usually not the case.
2. Prepare your argument. Decide what you want to say, and choose your words very carefully- lots of “I” statements- “I am saddened by your meddlesome negative impact on my life” is not really the right kind of “I” statement, but you can work on that.
3. Spend some unhealthy time going over and over the possible direction of the impending confrontation. Script the whole damn thing. Decide what you’re pretty sure they will say and what you will say about that and then they will say…and you will say… and so on. Make sure you get all that adrenaline out of your system in the wee hours of the morning where it can eventually dissipate( But it won’t- see 4. )
4. Realize that you have manifested a maniacal Worlds Longest Fingernails Used Car Salesman and that his adrenaline fueled incorporeal form is now living Rent Free in your head- and he brought furniture and some friends.
5. Realize that now you have bigger problems than the Frienemy. You are now bordering on Insane yourself.
6. Go back to practicing some Self Calming techniques or find some other way to distract yourself from the High Octane Ragefire you’ve got burning in the pit of your soul now. It will burn itself out, but you have to stop feeding it.
7. Consider being mature about it and just calling up and saying “Hey, you were a Dick and I don’t appreciate it! You owe me an apology”.
8. Disconsider number 7.
9. Decide that the power they have over your life and mental well-being is only what you allow them to have.
10. Keep Calm and Crazy On.
I have way more than enough on my plate these days without having to worry about stupid people and the Bad Crazy. It is, ultimately my choice how much of my mental energy I want to give to any one issue. And I’m in the process of learning to give it all back to ME. I may always be in that process at some stage or another. Just have to stick together with my Good Crazy peeps- they’re easy enough to find- just follow the noisy inappropriate laughter.