I know some women who left home and never looked back. They did everything on their own, the hard way. Maybe due to circumstances of their upbringing, maybe just the way they’re wired, I don’t know- but these are women that seem to need nobody. All the big life events like marriage and babies and MOVING- they seem to have a handle on it. Probably behind the scenes we’d see them locked away in a closet with cake and wine and wondering why the hell they’re so all alone, but away they go anyway and they somehow manage to just get things done.

That’s not me. Not by a long shot. I come up to these milestones in life usually from the flank, eyeing up the prize and trying to decide ahead of time how I’m going to tackle. I want to be able to take it on my own, I see these Superwimmen and how they just run up and launch themselves at wifing and motherhood and packing boxes and it looks so straightforward. But it’s rarely as easy as it seems.

So, with less than a week to finish packing- Some of the girlfriends had come and helped me for an afternoon, I’d already got the “box shaped things” nicely squared away and personally packed all my breakable teacup treasures- I found myself standing in the kitchen trying to visualize how many boxes I was going to need for the “Not box shaped things”, and I knew I was over my head. The quarry had caught me upwind and was ready to bolt- I didn’t have it in me for another chase. I looked it in the eye- actually tried the Sparkly Eye Technique and when that failed to result, I slowly reached for a phone. “I need an Adult”.

The most available “adult” was only a short plane ride away. My Grandma. Who LIKES packing.

I think the best part about “growing up” is how my relationships with my mom and her mom and the auntie and one of my cousins has evolved into a sort of sisterhood. We are each Very Good at many things, but when one of us comes up against a particular challenge, all that has to happen is sound the alarm and the cavalry comes charging.

Moving is my weak spot.(In case you couldn’t tell). I’ve needed to be rescued pretty much every time.

Anyway, Wonderful Husband was happy to buy the ticket and put her on a plane- He knows that either he helps find help or he’s stuck with a crazy wife who’s locked herself in somewhere and won’t come out until he finds help anyway.

Captive reinforcements…Baahahaha! My helper is here and I stayed home from work yesterday to help arrange boxes and go room to room sifting out odds and ends that were supposed to move out with my brother a thousand times ago and dishes that I’m ditching so I have an excuse to buy new ones and trash and clutter and so on. There is hope.


(some people say my Sparkly Eyes Technique only works because it just looks like Crazy Eyes and it makes them afraid…)

About staggeringduck

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2 Responses to Reinforcements

  1. I hate packing and moving, too. Hope it’s relatively painless for you!

  2. dangermond says:

    I’m not sure why I qualify for Wonder Woman or rather Loner Woman because all of my major upheavals happened to be handled with me, myself and I, but I can definitely say it’s not the way I want it. My mother was not the type to be a helper – although now that she has passed, I terribly miss her voice on the other end of the phone. The other day, I told a friend I wish I could call my mom today and she asked me, what would she say? And I laughed because I knew I’d call my mom about something monumental and she would say something like, “Oh, you were always so organized.” A complete non sequitur. And my grandmother, who is also sorely missed was help not by action but just by who she was as a role model to me. An independent woman. This time around, moving, people did ask, “Do you need any help?” but they weren’t so close of friends that I would actually take them up on it. So alone I packed, and cried, and packed, and cried. Because I hate packing and I hate moving and I don’t like upheaval. So from the outside everyone might have said, “There she goes again. She does it all by herself. Doesn’t need any help. Look at her go.” But the truth is I need lots of help – I’m just not sure where to get it from.

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