There was this horrible flood. The rains came day after day after day and the rivers rose up and the waters spread and began to cover the land as lakes and oceans. The people fled their homes and made for high ground and left all their belongings behind to be destroyed. But one man refused. Again and again, the police and his family and neighbors tried to convince him to flee, and even as the water began to come in his door, still he refused. “God will take care of me” he said.
As the flood came he was forced ever upwards into his home until some time later he finally had to go out on the roof. Once there he made himself comfortable against the chimney with some blankets and sat to pray and wait. A man in a canoe arrived at his little island in the choppy sea. “Come! Get in the boat! I am here to save you!” and the faithful man clung tight to his blankets and said “No! I will wait here! God will take care of me!”. Well, the man in the canoe had other people to rescue, so he turned away.
The water had begun to rise up past the gutters on the roof. Cold and wet, the man still sat and prayed “God, I have been ever faithful! Deliver me from this flood!”. And when he opened his eyes, there was the coast guard on a big speed boat- bearing down in his direction. When it arrived the captain tossed him a line and shouted “Get in! We’re here to save you!”. The man said “No! God will deliver me from this flood! I will wait for Him!”. And the coast guard captain shook his head and went away.
Night fell and the waters were rushing against his feet. He climbed to the top of the chimney to wait. Suddenly a great noise filled the air and a blinding light came down to shine on him. Looking up he discovered it was only a helicopter. He waved away the ladder they put down to him and shouted as loud as he could- “NO THANK YOU!”. The men in the helicopter persisted as long as they could but eventually had to turn away. The man was exhausted and he put his head on his knees and went to sleep.
The water rose on into the night and the little man was swept from the chimney and drowned.
There he stood in the Light at St Peter’s gates. And standing behind The Book was St Peter! The man cried out “I’ve DIED? How is that possible! I believed He would deliver me! Save me! Protect me from the rising flood! Have I not been Faithful? Have I not been a good man?”
And St Peter looked in the pages of his Very Big Book and said “But He tried… Says here we sent a man in a canoe, the coastguard, and a helicopter…. what the hell were you waiting for?”…
(in case you know about the flooding in Alberta, you might consider this to be in bad taste. But I think God was watching out for most of those people- 3 were swept into the water to be recovered later, and nobody knows how they died- hopefully not on their roofs waiting for God- I imagine He was busy with other things at the time)